The following advertisements were on the walls:
- Now in its 1st Straight Season on Broadway! Harold King's "Kiss Me, My Fair Fiddler on the West Side of the Best Little Cabaret in Oklahoma!" Sold out through April, 2003. Vincent Couldbe says, "Even better than last year's 'Hello, Annie's Greasy South Pacific Chorus Line!'" Contact TicketMeister
- Welcome to New York City! Home of the San Francisco Giants, New Jersey Jets and Los Angeles Dodgers!
- From anywhere to anywhere, in New York City there's no limousine service that's precisely, totally, exactly like the fabulous Checker Limo Co. Nearly-instantaneous service from our fleet of radio-dispatched cars. Floors disinfected regularly! Call 552-4668, anytime.
- It's Carefree Living in the Eurasian Style in new Exorbitania Townhouses. Only 1/2 block from Central Park, Broadway, Madison Square Garden, Statue of Liberty, UN Building, World Trade Center, Automat. One-bedrooms start at $10000000. Security locks, no pets. And no vacancies to the likes of you, either, buddy.
- Gay? Lesbian? Divorced? Single? Widowed? Depressed? Sorry, but the 'Blecchnaven Center' offers weekly seminars for happy, straight couples only.
- Now through September 31st at Madison's Glare Garden! Monster Trucks! Funny Cars! Stupid Motorcycles! Mutant Mopeds! We've turned the floor of the coliseum into a giant mud bog! See audience members with necks twice as thick as their heads! Call Ticket-O-Rama for details.
- The NYC Ballet Company's 2015th production of "Sleeping Beauty" opens August 15th. The NYC Times called it, "A classic... never gets all that boring, even though you've seen it several hundred times." Opening September 20: the 2016th production of "Sleeping Beauty." Call The Ticketster for details.
- We want your old jewelry. Rings, chains, earrings, brooches. No Money Paid. "Stick 'em Up Pawn Shop" 1525 Park Avenue West.
- Dr. Seymour Weiners of the Weiners Clinic says, "Chronic fatigue? Prostate problems? Hemorrhoids? Kidney stones? Liver spots? Osteoporosis? Arthritis? Psoriasis? Cataracts? Incontinence? Allergies? Hernia? Yecch! Go somewhere else, okay?
- The Mayor's Office is pleased to announce the 25th Annual "Why I Love New York Even Though You Take Your Life In Your Hands Every Time You Open Your Front Door and Who Can Afford To Live Here Anymore Anyway?" Songwriting Contest. Forms available at City Hall.
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