The following advertisements could be seen on the airport walls.
- Injured in an Automobile Accident? Hurt in a Work-Related Accident? Been pulled over by the L.A.P.D? Let our personal injury lawyers work for YOU! We collect only if you win your case. Free consultation. Ambulance Chasers, Inc
- For elegant dining in an informal atmosphere, come to Bubba's-On-The-Bay. Exquisite nouvelle cuisine served in the classic Deep South style. Chicken-fried Medallions of Veal, Blackened Carpaccio with Capers and Oleo, Jambalaya Sorbet. Check out our new puzzle placemats!
- Take the Yawniversal Studios Tour! Get but by the Real Shark from "Maws". Get crushed in the hand of the Giant Robot Ape from "King Dong". Get stabbed in the abdomen at the Gates Hotel from "Psicko". Camera rental and infirmary services FREE.
- While you're here in Los Angeles, be sure to visit wonderful "Wizneyland". Your children will be terified when they see their favorite cartoon characters running up to them in enormous grinning overstuffed costumes... horrified when they ride through the bowel-loosening haunted house! Wizneyland! It's a million trips to the bathroom!!
- The Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce welcomes YOU to Los Angeles! See Movie Star's homes! See the Beverly Hills Wax Museum! See your favorite TV shows actually being taped for future broadcast! Some culture also available; call for details.
- It's the second-most fun you've had getting wet! Visit MARINELAND, U.S.A.! See authentic U.S. Marines swimming, playing, doing tricks. Watch Porca, 'The Killer Marine', leap out of the water at feeding time for fishsticks!
- How do busy executives stay on top of world finance? "Businessmen's Financial Hoursly", of course. All the financial news you need, delivered to your home or office every hour on the hour, all day, all night. Latest markets. Millions of pages a year of the information YOU need every minute to keep your business from sinking like a rock.
- Suffering from copy machine breakdown? Tired of messy toner bottles? Sick of paper cartridges and service calls? Ready to rip the guts out of your piece-of-crap, document-mangling Shmearox copier? Call us. We're ACME Carbon Paper.
- When the sharpest image counts, count on Canonan camcorders. The official camcorder of the Amateur Cinematographer's Committee on Los Angeles Police Conduct. "I love it! I'm gonna get one when I get these bandages off!" says a Mr. R. King of Los Angeles, California.
- BIG-R'S CREDIT: Need credit? Need a loan? Or just want to talk to someone who really understands what "deep in debt" really means? Call Roger H at Big R's Credit Carnival! Applications accepted over the phone. $10.00 non-refundable service charge might even be tax deductibl!
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