Softporn Adventure transcript

Softporn.loc
1 I'm in a dimly lit hallway. The paint is peeling off the walls and the floor hasn't been cleaned in months. Cockroaches run across the floor- jumping as the loosely installed lightbulb crackles and flickers. An old desk sits pushed against the wall. A businessman sits on a broken chair. Seems kind of drunk! 2 I'm in a bathroom. The stench is unbelievable! Grafitti is all over the walls. Cockroaches don't seem to survive in this place, their dead bodies are strewn everywhere. The sink's faucets are broken- in fact the sink hangs from the wall by its rusty plumbing. A toilet sits in the corner. Looks dangerous! 3 I'm in a sleazy bar. Behind the bar sits the bartender. A sign hanging over him says 'BEER-$100 WHISKEY-$100'. The Place isn't furnished too well. A curtain hangs on one wall. There's a button on the wall next to it. A fan whirls slowly overhead moving the stagnant air around. 4 I'm on a sidewalk outside the bar. A couple of strange dogs wander around. A cat is crouched in the entrance watching the dogs. Some paper blows by from the overfilled garbage dumpster next to me. I just miss stepping on a dogs 'calling card'. The dogs look at me-I hope they dont think Im a fire hydrant! 5 I'm in the backroom of the bar. Theres this big dude in here with me. He's wearing a button. I can't see what it says, maybe I should take a close look at him. Stairs lead up to the second floor. There's a TV in the corner also. I get the feeling loitering is not encouraged here. 6 There's a fire escape ladder above me which lowers automatically whenver weight is put on it. As a result I find myself in the garbage dumpster which some fool placed under it! The trash in this thing is foul! I'm sitting in a sea of coffee grinds and egg shells. Trash surrounds me. I think I may puke! 7 I'm in the room I broke into! The entrance on the far side of the room is locked shut. The plaster's falling off the wall-the usual. The only items around are a paper bag and a bright pink bathrobe. The wall has a centerfold taped to it. Thru the door's peephole I see people in the hallway. Bad exit! 8 I'm on a window ledge. My safety rope leads back to the fire escape. While it helps some, I could still fall and kill myself SO BE CAREFUL! The window looks into a room-but I can't see to much from here. People down on the street below look up at me and scream something about 'Dont Jump'. What's their problem? 9 I'm in a seedy bedroom. There's a hooker in here also. The bed's a mess and the hooker's the same! The room is painted bright pink & the ceiling is covered with mirrors! A sign says 'Take precautions! The clap could be fatal!' To the north is a sliding glass door- it leads to a balcony. 10 I'm on a balcony. Off in the distance I see a brightly lit billboard. A fire escape ladder is at one end of the balcony. A sign says 'Use in extreme emer- gency! Looking towards the west end of the balcony I see a window ledge. It looks too dangerous to go there- I might fall! The place smells of garbage. 11 I'm on a downtown street. People from all walks of life are milling about. Cadillac limos & Mercedes sport cars drive up & down the street bringing gamb- lers to and from the casinos. To the north a sign says 'Use our services to enter into a blissful life!' 12 I'm in a quickie marriage center. A flashing neon sign says 'Why wait? Marry the girl of your dreams today! You provide the girl, we provide a legal marr- iage for only $1000!' A plaque on the wall proclaims 'Over 1 million served!' To the east is 'The Adventurers Hotel'. Seems like quite a classy place! 13 I'm in the main casino room. Row upon row of slot machines fill the room. The bells of the machines clamor as winnings are paid out to the winners. The police cart off the losers. Vagrancy is not tolerated here. Vagrants are exterminated...keeps the crime rate low! But everyone seems happy here. 14 I'm in the '21 room'. Tables for playing blackjack are everywhere. The noise of people winning & losing fortunes fills the room. A table stands in front of me- The dealer waits for me to join in. People gather. They want me to gamble my fortune away! A voice within me says 'Go for it- Fool!' 15 I'm in the main lobby. There's a stairway going up to the hotel desk. The only other exit leads back to the casino. Over in the corner is a flourishing plant which is sitting in a pot. Couches and tables are also in the room- as are other items one would find in a lobby. The lobby is empty. Everyones gambling! 16 I'm in the honeymoon suite of the hotel. The decor is fabulous! A giant heart shaped bed sits in the corner of the room. The floor is covered with a deep shag rug. A tiffany lamp provides just the right amount of light to complete the atmosphere. A breeze flows through the curtain on the east wall. 17 I'm in a hallway. Doors line each side- most have 'Do not disturb' hung on the doorknobs. Waiters from room service pass by bringing food and drink to the hotel guests. An ashtray stands next to the wall. South is the entrance to the honeymoon suite. 18 I'm out on a porch. A high wooden fence surrounds the porch. There's a little hole in the fence. An arrow points at it- written next to it is a message- 'look here!' A sign says 'See the city from the comfort of your own porch!!' The sun is out- it's rays beat down on the porch making it very hot. 19 I'm at the registration counter of the hotel. A sign says 'No VACANCY'. There is an elevator next to the counter marked 'Penthouse- PRIVATE'. A button is next to the elevator. The smell of perfume fills the air! The sexiest blonde you have ever seen stands behind the counter!! I'd sure love to ride her! 20 I'm in a telephone booth. The directory is all ripped up & piled on the floor. There's some numbers scribbled on the side of the phone. The only one's which are legible are '555-6969' & '555-0439'. It will not take money- but the operator comes on automatically when a call is made. 21 I'm in the 'Swinging Singles Disco'. There's a crazy DJ playing the newest hits. The dance floor is filled with guys and gals doin' the best steps in town. The crowd is really getting into it- everybody's having fun. There's a table to stand at over by the dance floor. A sign at the table- 'Wine $100'. 22 I'm on a sidewalk. To the north is a fancy doorway- the entrance to the disco club. An old bum sits by the entrance- he's definately seen better days. The guy really looks tormented! To the east is the pharmacy. Apartment houses and homes line the rest of the street. 23 I'm in the entrance to the disco. Pictures line the entrance way showing the happy singles who attend their club. Singles pass by me into the club. Couples wander out- kissing and making eyes at each other. A door is to the west. The door has a sign on it. 24 I'm in a pharmacy. On one wall sits a magazine rack. A sign reads 'This is not a library- NO READING'. A pharmacist sits behind the counter. Kids stop and buy candy. Others buy newspapers/cigarettes etc. A mirror to protect against shoplifting is mounted in the corner. 25 I'm in the foyer of the penthouse. Over in the corner is a spiral staircase. Next to the elevator is a button. The place is nicely decorated- no expense spared. The kitchen is to the east. Beautiful paintings from some centuries- old artist cover the walls. This place is quite impressive! 26 I'm in the jacuzzi!!!! Oh boy- does this feel good!!! Water swirls around me- It's warmth soaks into my body. The feeling of relaxation is almost numbing. Over on the other side is the most beautiful girl!!!! I hope she doesn't mind my bieng here! 27 I'm in the kitchen. There's a sink to one side. High over the sink is mounted a cabinet. There's no dishes in sight- The place is kept quite tidy- no dirty dishes or pans around here. There's a little sign over the sink. 28 I'm in a lush garden!!! The air is filled with the aroma of all sorts of plants. Green ferns are everywhere. Roses and other flowers emit their wonder fragrances. If there was ever a garden of eden- this certainly has to be the place! The entrance has dissappeared as I walked in!! How do I get out? 29 I'm in a living room. There's a closet on one wall. Like the rest of the place- it is very well furnished. Nobody seems to be here but I think I hear a gurgling noise coming from somewhere. A very nice place! 30 I'm outside on a expansive rooftop. The sun shines in amongst the plants and trees. Birds flutter about. There's a jacuzzi in the middle of the porch!! Well- there's the source of the gurgling noise!! A wooden fence surrounds the entire area.

Softporn.txt
1 Oh, no!! I paid for this?! This beast is really ugly! Jeezzz...I hope I don't get the clap from this hooker. Well, she seems to be annoyed that I haven't jumped on her yet. Go to it, stud!! 2 It's the Gambler's Gazette. There's an article here which tells how to activate the games at the Adventurers Hotel! It says that blackjack can be played by entering 'Play 21.' The slot machines start with 'Play slots!' 21 can be beat. The trick is- always play with the blue cards and always bet $2. 3 Mmmmm....an interesting magazine with a nice centerfold! The feature article is about how to pick up an innocent girl at a disco. It says- 'Shower her with presents. Dancing won't hurt either. And wine is always good to get things moving!' 4 Cute and innocent! Just the way I like my women. Oh, this girl is great! She has a beautiful California tan...and pert little breasts...a trim waist...and well-rounded hips! I dream about getting this nice a girl. I hope you play this game well enough so I can have my jollys with her! You could make your puppet a very happy man! 5 What a beautiful face! She's leaning back in the jacuzzi with her eyes closed and seems extremely relaxed. The water is bubbling up around her. A 10! She's so beautiful...a guy really could fall in love with a girl like this. I presume her name is 'Eve,' at least, that's what the towel next to her has embroidered on it. 6 A taxi pulls up and screeches to a halt. I get in the back and sit down. A sign says, 'We service 3 destinations. When asked, please specify- disco, casino, or bar.' The driver turns and asks, 'Where to, Mac?' 7 The elevator doors open. I get in. As the doors close, music starts playing. It's the usual elevator stuff...boring! We start to move...after a few seconds the elevator stops. The doors open and I get out. 8 She says, 'Me first!' She takes my throbbing tool into her mouth! She starts going to work...feels so good!! Then she smiles as she bites it off! She says, 'No oral sex in this game!! Suffer!!' 9 Well, my son...here's my story. I came here many years ago- and my goals were the same as yours... but this adventure was too much for me! Here's a gift...carry it with you at all times!! There's some kinky girls in this town! And you never know when you may need to use this to defend yourself!! 10 She's wearing the tightest jeans! Wow...what a body!! 36-24-35! This girl's derriere is sensational! And the shirt? See through- and what I see, I like! As my eyes reluctantly roam from her body, I see bright blue eyes- and a smile that dazles me. I think she likes me! 11 A masked man runs across the screen. Jumping up, he lands on his horse and yells, 'Hi, ho, Plutonium!' He rides off into a green sky.... Nothing like a good old western to pass the time... 12 It's 'The Price is Fright!' 'And now, for our favorite host, Haunty Maule!' Haunty jumps up on the stage- he asks, 'and who's our first lucky contestant?' The announcer points out a lady...the crowd screams in ecstacy as she's dragged to the stage! 13 Captain Jerk looks at the door from which behind the noise is coming. Throwing open the door- his face turns a deep red!! He says, 'Scotty! What are you doing??' Scotty replies, 'But, Captain?!?! My girl and I...we're engaged!' Captain Jerk commands, 'Well, then... disengage!' And the starship thrusts forward...penetrating deeper into space! 14 The news! Today the prime rate was raised once again...to 257%! This does not come near the record set back in 1996, when it broke the 1000% mark. The birth rate has taken a dramatic fall...this is due to the increased usage of computers as sexual partners. However, rapes of innocent people are on the increase! And who is the rapist? Computerized banking machines lead the list...followed by home computers. 15 Mr. Rodjerks jumps up with his big sneakers and says in his cheery voice... 'Guess what, boys and girls? Today, we're going to learn about suckers! Susie...see the lollipop? Can you stick it in your mouth? That's right! That's a nice lollipop! Nice and hard, right?' 16 Cable TV! They're showing the kinkiest X-rated movies! This one's titled, 'Deep Nostril!' The pimp likes this one! He's engrossed in the action he sees! He seems distracted now... 17 It's 'Happy Daze!!' Richie turns to Gonzy and says, 'But you always had it made with the girls...what's your secret?' The Gonz says, 'Aaayyyy...I didn't get my name for nuttin!' Reaching into his pocket he pulls out a funny-looking cigarette. 18 Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Jones are comparing detergents... 'See this blouse? We're making it this dirty to see whose works better...' (A dog is thrown onto the blouse. In his excitement, he defacates all over it.) 'Do you think yours will work, Mrs. Smith?' (The camera pans to Mrs. Smith. She throws up.) 'Okay, how about you, Mrs. Jones?' 19 It's the Super Bowl!! 'The center snaps the ball! The quarterback fades back!! It's a bomb!!! The ball sails through the air. The receiver runs to get it. It explodes in his hands!! What a bomb! Tell me, Howard: Have you ever seen THIS before?!' 20 She takes the apple and raises it to her mouth. With an outrageously innocent look, she takes a small bite out of it. A smile comes across her face! She's really starting to look quite sexy!! She winks and lies back in the jacuzzi. 21 It's a good thing I was wearing that rubber!! She was ok- but really...can't you do better than this? The score is now 1 out of a possible 3. So, congratulations! Well, go to it, you stud! Find me another girl! 22 Oh, boy!! It's got 3 spots to try!! I thrust into the doll-kinky, eh? I start to increase my tempo...faster and faster I go! Suddenly there's a flatulent noise and the doll becomes a popped baloon soaring around the room! It flies out of the room and disappears! 23 She hops out of the tub- the steam rising from her skin...her body is the best looking I've ever seen!! Then she comes up to me and gives the best time of my life! Well...I guess that's it! As your puppet in this game, I thank you for the pleasure you have brought me.... So long...I've got to get back to my new girl here! Keep it up! 24 She says, 'Lay down, Honey- Let me give you a special surprise!' I lay down and she says, 'OK- now close your eyes.' I close my eyes and she starts to go to work on me. I'm really enjoying myself when suddenly she ties me to the bed!! Then she says, 'So long, turkey!' and runs out of the room!! Well- the score is now 2 out of a possible 3...but I'm also tied to the bed and can't move. 25 Mmmmm. This is a peeping tom's paradise! Across the way is another hotel. Ah hah! The curtains are open at one window! The bathroom door opens and a girl walks out. Holy cow! Her boobs are huge- and look at the way they sway as she strides across the room! Now she's taking a large sausage-shaped object and looking at it longingly! Damn! She shut the curtain! 26 This stuff is good! I'm breathing heavily- I've never been this horny! I've just got to do something! Ah! There goes a female german shepard! That gives me an idea! Kinky dog! Clawed me to death!!!!! 27 The blonde looks at the pills and says, 'Thanks! I love this stuff!' She takes a pill...her nipples start to stand up! Wow!! She's breathing heavily...I hope she rapes me!! She says, 'So long, sucker! I'm going to go see my boy friend!' She disappears down the stairs.... 28 The driver looks at me and says, 'Hey! What's that you got? Wine?' He grabs the bottle and guzzles the wine down!! Oh, no!! He's swerving towards a huge truck!! I grab the wheeel. We struggle!!! The truck just misses us!! 29 Thy quest is over! Thank you so much for playing! If you like this game and would like to see more by Gary, please register this game by sending $20 to the address below! Thanks!

- Gary Thompson 1708 NW 15th CT      Ft Lauderdale, FL 33311 30 CREDITS

I would just like to thank a few important people, without whom; I doubt I could have gotten this game done. First, my BETA testers. Without their help, I wouldn't have located the many bugs in the first few versions of this game.

Kevin J. Kearney (CARDIS) Linda Neary (ARIEL) Penny (KOJAK) 31 Most importantly, I would like to thank Al Lowe for all his help. Especially for including this game in the Leisure Suit Larry's Greatest Hits & Misses package.

I would also like to thank Art Constantino for providing me my own BETA testers forum on the Always All Adult BBS (305-584-4080), He has been a valuable help. And a special thanks to all the thousands of people who already downloaded this game on Compuserve and locally here in Ft Lauderdale.

- Gary (The Psycho) "The Psycho Strikes!"